everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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