I hope mine doesn't look like that
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
