I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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