I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You made out with two different species that night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
