so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
