im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
