Christians are straight up FREAKS
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
