fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
