We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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