He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
