Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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