How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
