id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
