So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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