so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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