She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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