brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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