I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
