i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
