He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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