He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
