whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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