i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
