My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
