we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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