What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
