"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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