you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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