I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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