guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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