Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
