She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sober January is a disaster.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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