My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Someone signed my nipple.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
