yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
