I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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