Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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