Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
