my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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