Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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