And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
