THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
