Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
