I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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