the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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