she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
