Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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