It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
