I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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