There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
