It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
