pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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